How to Win Friends and Influence People

3 Lessons

1. On of, if not the, core desires of a human being is to feel important.
   1. Making others feel important satisfies a core desire. This cultivates more good will than almost any other interaction. It is also a Christ-like way to live, showing other people how they are fearfully and wonderfully made in his image.
2. Being interested is way more important and impactful than being interesting.
   1. Most people are inherently focused on themselves. Being a showoff and succeeding in your own endeavors will almost never gain you friends. Instead show genuine interest in their lives, and you will experience a rich relationship that can’t be earned by performance.
3. Well-placed and thought out praise can almost always replace criticism.
   1. Hoover’s Story During an air show, the renowned WWII pilot Bob Hoover encountered a harrowing situation as both engines of his plane ceased functioning mid-flight. Despite the grave danger, Hoover skillfully maneuvered the aircraft to a safe landing, albeit with significant damage. Miraculously, no injuries were sustained. Upon discovering that the mechanic responsible for servicing his plane had inadvertently filled the tank with jet fuel instead of gasoline, one might anticipate a torrent of rebuke and reprimand from Hoover. However, his response defied conventional expectations. Instead of chastising the trembling mechanic, Hoover approached him with unexpected empathy. Placing a reassuring hand on the mechanic’s shoulder, Hoover uttered words that would leave an indelible impact: “To demonstrate my confidence in your abilities to avoid such errors in the future, I’d like you to service my F-51 tomorrow.”

3 Actionable Takeaways

1. Ruthlessly try to memorize peoples names and call them by it as much as possible.
2. Think of a Unique and Thoughtful Compliment for at least one person a day
   1. so often we gloss over the successes and talents of others. As soon as we watch someone do something impressive, we may start comparing ourselves to them. We move on to the next thing in our own ego-centric world. Make some space to make the other person feel their importance.
3. Ask people their story
   1. You should really know all of your friends stories for why they are where they are. Ask them questions about why they made certain decisions, what brought them to where they are now. Take genuine interest in their story and what makes them uniquely themeselves.